Tuesday, 2 November 2010

We should talk more about Miscarriages

Having read about Lily Allens sad, sad loss today, it brought to mind, my previous losses. 

Losing a potential life is never easy and for me losing babies late in pregnancy made me really doubt if we would ever have a child of our own to hold.  So much so that Maxi didn't have a nursery until the week before he was born.

Miscarriage is something that many woman do not talk about, it often feels like a secret club that you only become aware of once you have experianced the pain.  Then people will often tell you that they had a miscarriage too.

It is estimated that 1 in 4 woman will experience a miscarriage and that 15% of all pregnancies will end in miscarriage, which are shocking statistics which are often not in the forefront of your mind when you become pregnant.

As one of these 1 in 4 woman I have to say that I experienced a wide range of emotions when it came to my miscarriages and also to peoples reactions to them.  My first experience of miscarriage was losing twins at 20 weeks, which was truly horrendous.  I don't think I could ever explain the horrors that we went through.  What has remained with me from that time was other peoples reactions and comments, which ranged from a polite I am sorry for your loss to a completely inappropriate "oh but they were not yet babies"

I think that woman should be a little more open about the terrible things that miscarriages can bring, they can shatter dreams and tear apart hearts.

So my heart goes out to Lily Allen, I can not imagine her loss, but I can remember mine.

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